Tag Archives: Harry Kane

The Premier League Preview 2026/27

Posted on 31/07/2026 by Wichita Lineman Was A Song I Once Heard

There are three reasons why I’m doing this column a few weeks earlier this year. First, if you’re going to consistently make terrible predictions, as I do, you might as well be first and avoid accusations of imitation. Second, waiting … Continue reading →

Posted in Sports | Tagged Alex Ferguson, Alvaro Arbeloa is the G-Tech Xabi Alonso, Argentina, Arsenal, Aston Villa, BBC, Bournemouth, Brentford, Brighton & Hove Albion, Broken plastic furniture in Atlanta, Bruno Fernandes, BTS, Bundesliga, Burnley, Champions League, Charlie Sheen is a better drug addict than you, Chelsea, Chris Wood, Cole Palmer, Conference League, Coventry City, Crystal Palace, Donald Trump, Einstein’s definition of insanity, England, Enzo Maresca isn’t Pep Guardiola, Evangelos Marinakis, Everton, France, Fulham, GB News, Germany, Gianni Infantino, Glastonbury, Graham Linehan, Had enough of Gary Neville and Micah Richards, Harry Kane, Hobson’s choice, Hull City, Ipswich Town, Israel, Justin Bieber, Katie Price and Harvey memes, Leeds United, Leicester City’s miracle, Liam Rosenior did outlast the lettuce, Liverpool, Madge needs a walker to get around, Madonna, Manchester City, Manchester United, Marco van Basten, Mark E. Smith, Matheus Fernandes, Matt Goodwin, Michael Carrick, Mikel Arteta, Mumford & Sons, Nepo baby cunt, Newcastle United, Nottingham Forest, Oliver Glasner, Oxbridge metropolitan class, Portugal, Premier League is Laissez-faire, Premier League Preview 2026/27, QPR, Reform gammon, Robbie Williams' ridiculous barnet, Roman Abramovich, Ronaldinho, Ronaldo, Shakira, Shitty rendition of Wonderwall, Spain, Sunderland, Switzerland, Ted Lasso, The Spectator, Thomas Tuchel, Thursday Night Wankers, Tottenham Hotspur, Trent Alexander-Arnold, Trillionaire wanker, Twitter, USA, VAR, Viktor Gyökeres is shite, Wayne Rooney’s hair transplant is better than Joe Hart's, Winston Marshall, World Cup 2026, Xabi Alonso | Leave a comment

The Premier League Preview 2023/24

Posted on 11/08/2023 by Wichita Lineman Was A Song I Once Heard

Life ceases to be interesting if you lose the capacity to be surprised. If Donald Trump is never brought to trial, would you be surprised? Or, if Trump went all Budd Dwyer and killed himself on TV if he’s brought … Continue reading →

Posted in Sports | Tagged Arsenal, Arteta is a metrosexual cosplayer, Aston Villa, Bayern Munich, Brendan Gleeson, Brexit, Budd Dwyer, Burnley, Champions League, Chelsea, Cunt fucking kids, Donald Trump, Erik Ten Haag, Everton, Financial Fair Play, France, Fulham, Germany, Harry Kane, In Bruges, Italy, Karim Benzema, Kenilworth Road, Kylian Mbappe, Lee Anderson's son is a vegetarian, Liverpool, Luton Town, Manchester City, Manchester United, Mohammed bin Salman, Newcastle United, Nottingham Forest, Paul Heckingbottom, Premier League, Priti and Suella are cunts, Ralph Fiennes, Saudi Arabia, Sean Dyche, Spain, Thursday Night Wankers, Todd “Burger Me” Boehly, Tottenham Hotspur, United Kingdom, Wolverhampton Wanderers, YouTube | Leave a comment

The Premier League Preview 2021/22

Posted on 31/07/2021 by Wichita Lineman Was A Song I Once Heard

The European Championships are over. Mercifully no more players collapsed with cardiac issues and Italy saved us from a tidal wave of insufferable English triumphalism, which, with a win, would finally be liberated from the embarrassment of perpetual failure. The … Continue reading →

Posted in Sports | Tagged Agincourt, Anti-Josef Mengele approach to eugenics, Arsenal, Aston Villa, £600m, Baddiel and Skinner, Ben White - £50m!? Fuck me, Bingo wings, Boris Johnson, Brentford, Brexit, Brighton, Bundesliga, Burnley, Buyako Saka, Catatonic stupor, Chelsea, Choose hedonism and infantilism Choose darts, Crystal Palace, Daily Mail readers, Daniel Levy, Darlington, English triumphalism, European Championships, Euthanise Katie Hopkins, Everton, Financial Times, Frank Lampard on the dole, Harry Kane, Instagram, Jack Grealish, Jadon Sancho, Jordan Pickford - arrogant village idiot, Kai Havertz, Leeds United, Leicester City, Lincoln City, Lingering menacingly like Stuart Hall outside the ladies’ toilet, Liverpool, Magnificent moobs, Malcolm Tucker, Manchester City, Manchester United, Mike Ashley, Newcastle United, Nigel Farage, Norwich City, Ole Gunnar Solskjaer, Piers Morgan, Raheem Sterling, Raphael Varane, Sad bastard Twitter aggregators, Selling out to the Saudis, Serie A, Sheffield United, Smash up an Italian restaurant, Southampton, Southend, Sports-washing, Spurs, Steve Bruce, Ten German Bombers, The Premier League, the Royals, Thursday night wankerdom, Timo Werner, Too many tags, Top Four Twattery, VAR, VAR still relies on human ibeciles, Watford, Wembley, West Bromwich Albion, West Ham United, White van man Olympics, Wolves, World Matchplay darts | 1 Comment