Category Archives: Sports

The Premier League Preview 2026/27

Posted on 31/07/2026 by Wichita Lineman Was A Song I Once Heard

There are three reasons why I’m doing this column a few weeks earlier this year. First, if you’re going to consistently make terrible predictions, as I do, you might as well be first and avoid accusations of imitation. Second, waiting … Continue reading →

Posted in Sports | Tagged Alex Ferguson, Alvaro Arbeloa is the G-Tech Xabi Alonso, Argentina, Arsenal, Aston Villa, BBC, Bournemouth, Brentford, Brighton & Hove Albion, Broken plastic furniture in Atlanta, Bruno Fernandes, BTS, Bundesliga, Burnley, Champions League, Charlie Sheen is a better drug addict than you, Chelsea, Chris Wood, Cole Palmer, Conference League, Coventry City, Crystal Palace, Donald Trump, Einstein’s definition of insanity, England, Enzo Maresca isn’t Pep Guardiola, Evangelos Marinakis, Everton, France, Fulham, GB News, Germany, Gianni Infantino, Glastonbury, Graham Linehan, Had enough of Gary Neville and Micah Richards, Harry Kane, Hobson’s choice, Hull City, Ipswich Town, Israel, Justin Bieber, Katie Price and Harvey memes, Leeds United, Leicester City’s miracle, Liam Rosenior did outlast the lettuce, Liverpool, Madge needs a walker to get around, Madonna, Manchester City, Manchester United, Marco van Basten, Mark E. Smith, Matheus Fernandes, Matt Goodwin, Michael Carrick, Mikel Arteta, Mumford & Sons, Nepo baby cunt, Newcastle United, Nottingham Forest, Oliver Glasner, Oxbridge metropolitan class, Portugal, Premier League is Laissez-faire, Premier League Preview 2026/27, QPR, Reform gammon, Robbie Williams' ridiculous barnet, Roman Abramovich, Ronaldinho, Ronaldo, Shakira, Shitty rendition of Wonderwall, Spain, Sunderland, Switzerland, Ted Lasso, The Spectator, Thomas Tuchel, Thursday Night Wankers, Tottenham Hotspur, Trent Alexander-Arnold, Trillionaire wanker, Twitter, USA, VAR, Viktor Gyökeres is shite, Wayne Rooney’s hair transplant is better than Joe Hart's, Winston Marshall, World Cup 2026, Xabi Alonso | Leave a comment

World Cup 2026 – cynicism and corruption are no match for the vibes

Posted on 30/06/2026 by Wichita Lineman Was A Song I Once Heard

“I’m a professional cynic, but my heart’s not in it”. It’s a great lyric from a revoltingly twee song which I obsessively hated, because it incisively exposed an undesirable personal trait of mine. The video for “Country House” equally grates, … Continue reading →

Posted in Sports | Tagged Blairism, Blur, Boston, Brazil, Britpop was fucking shite, Cabo Verde, Carlos Alberto, Cristiano Ronaldo, Curacao, Damien Hurst and Tracey Emin are bullshitters, Donald Trump, England, Enjoy the ride, Entrepreneurs with podcasts, Espana 82, France 1998, Gary Neville scowling, Gerd Muller, Gianni Infantino is an obsequious little goblin, Haiti, Holocaust deniers, Homelander, Hydration Breaks, Inverted snobs, Iran, IShowSpeed, Italia 90, Kilts, Lionel Messi, Little Englanders, MAGA, Mexico 1970, Mexico 86, Neo-liberalist swine, Orange One’s filthy cancerous ringpiece, Palestine Action, Panini World Cup sticker albums, Referees from shithole countries, Roy Keane is miserable and loves company, Russia, Scotland, Staring down Soviet tanks in Prague in August 1968, Tartan Army, Tech feudalists, The Brexiteers, The Sun and Daily Mail being racist, The Sun and Daily Mail readers, Tommy Robinson, Twitter aggregator accounts with crypto and gambling sponsorship, Ukraine, USA 94, Vibes, West Germany 1974, World Cup 2026, Zionists | Leave a comment

Arteta’s Arsenal – and why their methods are bad for the game

Posted on 30/03/2026 by Wichita Lineman Was A Song I Once Heard

This Premier League season has been bleak. The quality of play is the worst in over a decade, and as a spectacle it has not been compelling. You have to go back to Antonio Conte’s insufferably dull Chelsea side winning … Continue reading →

Posted in Sports | Tagged AC Milan, Antonio Conte, Arne Slot, Arsenal, Arsene Wenger, Barcelona, Bayern Munich, Boris Johnson, Brexit, Carlo Ancelotti, Champions League, Chelsea, George Graham, Grouse beaters, Islam, Judeo-Christianity, Jurgen Klopp, Lionel Messi, Liverpool, Long throws, Manchester City, Manchester United, Mikel Arteta, Pep Guardiola, Premier League, PSG, Real Madrid, Renaud Camus, Rugby Union, Spurs, Tony Pulis, VAR, Welsh, Zionists | Leave a comment

After 28 years of hurt, a part of my soul is finally at peace.

Posted on 28/11/2025 by Wichita Lineman Was A Song I Once Heard

So, Tuesday 18th November 2025. A Baltic night in Glasgow. Air so cold it was heavy. Freezing rain felt imminent, and, oh yeah, only the small matter of Scotland versus Denmark at Hampden with a guaranteed place at next summer’s … Continue reading →

Posted in Sports | Tagged A Baltic night in Glasgow, Agincourt, Al Pacino, Alan Hansen, Andy Murray, Batman, Berti Vogts, Billy Bremner, Brazil, Bright green Balenciaga trainers that cost £3000, Bryan Roy, Buckfast, Colin Hendry, Costa Rica, Craig milquetoast Brown, Deep fried Mars Bars, Denis Law, Denmark, Disco Elysium, Donald Trump, Dutch drums, Epstein's Island, Euro 1996, European Championships, Gary MacAllister, George Michael dance, Gianni Infantino, Glorious failure, Graeme Souness, Grant Hanley, Hampden, Hollywood, Inland Empire, Italia '90, Joao Havelange, John Collins, Kenny Dalglish, Kenny McLean, Kieran Tierney, Knightswood, Lawrence Shankland, Leo Messi, Marco van Basten, Mexico 1986, Paul Lambert, Reeves and Mortimer, Ronald Koeman, Rutherglen, Ruud Gullit, Scotland, Scott McTominay, Sepp Blatter, The Tartan Army, Wee Jimmy Krankie hats, World Cup | Leave a comment

The Premier League Preview 2025/26

Posted on 14/08/2025 by Wichita Lineman Was A Song I Once Heard

Holy Jesus, Premier League football is back already and that means the summer is nearly over. I’ll confess I enjoyed the three-month break from organizing my schedule around live football. But now we’re back to normality – nine months of … Continue reading →

Posted in Sports | Tagged Arne Slot, Arsène Wenger, Arsenal, Aston Villa, Big In Japan, Bournemouth, Brattish metrosexuals, Brentford, Brighton & Hove Albion, Burnley, Champions League football, Chelsea, Club World Cup abomination, Crystal Palace, Deadwood, Derby County, Erling Haaland, Everton, Final Ibiza Boss, Fulham, I've had a tough fucking day, Instagram, Ipswich Town, Jürgen Klopp, Leeds United, Leicester City, Liverpool, Manchester City, Manchester United, Mikel Arteta, Newcastle United, Nottingham Forest, Pep Guardiola, Premier League Preview, PSG, RIP Diogo Jota, Rod Liddle, Roman Abramovich, Rupert Lowe is a stupid racist dickhead, Sky Sports, Sunderland, The Sadim Touch, Thursday Night Wankers, TikTok, Tony Pulis is a football genius, Tottenham Hotspur, Twitter, West Ham United, Wolverhampton Wanderers | 1 Comment