Category Archives: Fiction

Gentrify This

Posted on March 21, 2017 by Wichita Lineman Was A Song I Once Heard

I pledged, from the beginning, to never surrender, unlike the others. Hearteningly, resistance at the start was ubiquitous. Soon I was to realise that, for many of them, it was just an instinctive aversion. Having occupied this place for so … Continue reading →

Posted in Fiction | Tagged Community, CPO, Default American English spell checkers are annoying, Dodo, Explosive, Fiction, Gentification, Gentrify This, Incubatory is allowed according to the internet - which is never wrong, Modern Life Is Rubbish, Neighbours, Sentimentality, Short Story | Leave a comment

Punchline

Posted on October 20, 2016 by Wichita Lineman Was A Song I Once Heard

In this business converting burgeoning resentment to laughter confirms that you’ve got it. I’ve never had reason to doubt the adage, until now, now that I can’t. With the lights glaring above, the audience below is an abyss. However, an … Continue reading →

Posted in Fiction | Tagged “fuck off and get aids”, Call Centre Cunts, Fiction, Hemmingway-esque, Homophobia, humiliation, Insanity, Julian Assange's bananas, Katie Hopkins mask, Lezzer dick, Not funny, power watching Band Of Gold episodes, Punchline, Real Stories From Auschwitz sponsored by Mediterranean Cruises, Rusty car with leukaemia, Shitcom, Stars In Their Eyes | Leave a comment

Help Yourself

Posted on March 21, 2016 by Wichita Lineman Was A Song I Once Heard

There they are again, in and out at this hour. That’s nine days in a row now. Joanne, patronising as only someone in their relative prime can be, told me not to think anything of it, and that I’m only … Continue reading →

Posted in Fiction | Tagged Another invective against nursing homes, Be curious not judgmental, Do you know what's happening in your neighbour's fuck off shed?, Don't mind if I do, Fiction, Help the aged, Help Yourself, Narcissistic hypochondriacs, Under 1800 words - is that good? | Leave a comment

Happy to go lucky?

Posted on October 31, 2015 by Wichita Lineman Was A Song I Once Heard

Connor was pre-occupied with a women’s UFC match-up. Many would consider that sentence an indictment of progress. We could dwell on whether his bet on its outcome was just another attempt to make money, some kind of morbid curiosity, or … Continue reading →

Posted in Fiction | Tagged 'dwelling on morbidity', Chance, Connor and Carina are just names, Dodgy goalkeepers, Fate, Feel like a dickhead for putting a copyright thingy at the end, Fiction, Gambling, Gambling on darts is less dramatic, Gambling society, Luck, Shortish story, UFC undercard bouts | Leave a comment

The misguided adventures of Barry Sherbet – Part 2

Posted on July 27, 2015 by Wichita Lineman Was A Song I Once Heard

We’ve already witnessed Barry at his most obtuse in his disastrous dalliance with Betty and Dickie Burn, but rest assured he’s had years to perfect that craft. In most instances these mistakes become inconsequential with the passing of time, only … Continue reading →

Posted in Fiction | Tagged Animal Cruelty, Barry Sherbet, Betty Burn, Buy a Steven Seagal box set!, Chopping up a banjo, Eddie Priceroy, Fiction, Freddy 'Ziploc' Quince, Jean Claude Van Damme, Maltesers, Part 2, Squeal like a pig, Stupidity, Terry Tone, The misguided adventures of Barry Sherbet, Will I make it a trilogy? | Leave a comment