Category Archives: Fiction

USB 2.no

Posted on January 25, 2018 by Wichita Lineman Was A Song I Once Heard

We won’t go into forensic detail what’s on it. Suffice to say it’s the sort of gruesome violence that’s conjured by psychopathic self-indulgence, which Daily Mail and Express readers cleave to in complete hypocrisy. Publicly they’re repulsed, privately its qualities … Continue reading →

Posted in Fiction | Tagged 2000 words, 4.5mm Beretta, Andrew and Roger, Are you a fan of industrial estate chic?, Can't think of any other tags, Creeps, Daily Mail and Express readers cleave to psychopathic self-indulgence, Fiction, It's 2018!, Need a new laptop, No backwards compatibility, Obsolete, She who will remain nameless, Short Story, USB 2.no | Leave a comment

Bad Wankers

Posted on September 19, 2017 by Wichita Lineman Was A Song I Once Heard

We live in an age where most celebrity is manufactured and unmerited, and as a result it is now abundant. If you’ll pardon the double entendre, there are tiers of fame. Which category the consensus prescribes them is widely understood … Continue reading →

Posted in Fiction | Tagged Bad Wankers, Based on Wankers you know and love/hate/love to hate, Be like OJ, Conrad, Cynicism, Fat shaming, Fiction, General Gayboy, Grimsby to Reading, Howard Beale, Infamy is the only true fame left, Mexican wave at Diana's funeral, Rolf Harris looks like the KFC colonel, Serial killer wankers | Leave a comment

Gentrify This

Posted on March 21, 2017 by Wichita Lineman Was A Song I Once Heard

I pledged, from the beginning, to never surrender, unlike the others. Hearteningly, resistance at the start was ubiquitous. Soon I was to realise that, for many of them, it was just an instinctive aversion. Having occupied this place for so … Continue reading →

Posted in Fiction | Tagged Community, CPO, Default American English spell checkers are annoying, Dodo, Explosive, Fiction, Gentification, Gentrify This, Incubatory is allowed according to the internet - which is never wrong, Modern Life Is Rubbish, Neighbours, Sentimentality, Short Story | Leave a comment

Punchline

Posted on October 20, 2016 by Wichita Lineman Was A Song I Once Heard

In this business converting burgeoning resentment to laughter confirms that you’ve got it. I’ve never had reason to doubt the adage, until now, now that I can’t. With the lights glaring above, the audience below is an abyss. However, an … Continue reading →

Posted in Fiction | Tagged “fuck off and get aids”, Call Centre Cunts, Fiction, Hemmingway-esque, Homophobia, humiliation, Insanity, Julian Assange's bananas, Katie Hopkins mask, Lezzer dick, Not funny, power watching Band Of Gold episodes, Punchline, Real Stories From Auschwitz sponsored by Mediterranean Cruises, Rusty car with leukaemia, Shitcom, Stars In Their Eyes | Leave a comment

Help Yourself

Posted on March 21, 2016 by Wichita Lineman Was A Song I Once Heard

There they are again, in and out at this hour. That’s nine days in a row now. Joanne, patronising as only someone in their relative prime can be, told me not to think anything of it, and that I’m only … Continue reading →

Posted in Fiction | Tagged Another invective against nursing homes, Be curious not judgmental, Do you know what's happening in your neighbour's fuck off shed?, Don't mind if I do, Fiction, Help the aged, Help Yourself, Narcissistic hypochondriacs, Under 1800 words - is that good? | Leave a comment