Tag Archives: Bournemouth

The Premier League Preview 2026/27

Posted on 31/07/2026 by Wichita Lineman Was A Song I Once Heard

There are three reasons why I’m doing this column a few weeks earlier this year. First, if you’re going to consistently make terrible predictions, as I do, you might as well be first and avoid accusations of imitation. Second, waiting … Continue reading →

Posted in Sports | Tagged Alex Ferguson, Alvaro Arbeloa is the G-Tech Xabi Alonso, Argentina, Arsenal, Aston Villa, BBC, Bournemouth, Brentford, Brighton & Hove Albion, Broken plastic furniture in Atlanta, Bruno Fernandes, BTS, Bundesliga, Burnley, Champions League, Charlie Sheen is a better drug addict than you, Chelsea, Chris Wood, Cole Palmer, Conference League, Coventry City, Crystal Palace, Donald Trump, Einstein’s definition of insanity, England, Enzo Maresca isn’t Pep Guardiola, Evangelos Marinakis, Everton, France, Fulham, GB News, Germany, Gianni Infantino, Glastonbury, Graham Linehan, Had enough of Gary Neville and Micah Richards, Harry Kane, Hobson’s choice, Hull City, Ipswich Town, Israel, Justin Bieber, Katie Price and Harvey memes, Leeds United, Leicester City’s miracle, Liam Rosenior did outlast the lettuce, Liverpool, Madge needs a walker to get around, Madonna, Manchester City, Manchester United, Marco van Basten, Mark E. Smith, Matheus Fernandes, Matt Goodwin, Michael Carrick, Mikel Arteta, Mumford & Sons, Nepo baby cunt, Newcastle United, Nottingham Forest, Oliver Glasner, Oxbridge metropolitan class, Portugal, Premier League is Laissez-faire, Premier League Preview 2026/27, QPR, Reform gammon, Robbie Williams' ridiculous barnet, Roman Abramovich, Ronaldinho, Ronaldo, Shakira, Shitty rendition of Wonderwall, Spain, Sunderland, Switzerland, Ted Lasso, The Spectator, Thomas Tuchel, Thursday Night Wankers, Tottenham Hotspur, Trent Alexander-Arnold, Trillionaire wanker, Twitter, USA, VAR, Viktor Gyökeres is shite, Wayne Rooney’s hair transplant is better than Joe Hart's, Winston Marshall, World Cup 2026, Xabi Alonso | Leave a comment

The Premier League Preview 2025/26

Posted on 14/08/2025 by Wichita Lineman Was A Song I Once Heard

Holy Jesus, Premier League football is back already and that means the summer is nearly over. I’ll confess I enjoyed the three-month break from organizing my schedule around live football. But now we’re back to normality – nine months of … Continue reading →

Posted in Sports | Tagged Arne Slot, Arsène Wenger, Arsenal, Aston Villa, Big In Japan, Bournemouth, Brattish metrosexuals, Brentford, Brighton & Hove Albion, Burnley, Champions League football, Chelsea, Club World Cup abomination, Crystal Palace, Deadwood, Derby County, Erling Haaland, Everton, Final Ibiza Boss, Fulham, I've had a tough fucking day, Instagram, Ipswich Town, Jürgen Klopp, Leeds United, Leicester City, Liverpool, Manchester City, Manchester United, Mikel Arteta, Newcastle United, Nottingham Forest, Pep Guardiola, Premier League Preview, PSG, RIP Diogo Jota, Rod Liddle, Roman Abramovich, Rupert Lowe is a stupid racist dickhead, Sky Sports, Sunderland, The Sadim Touch, Thursday Night Wankers, TikTok, Tony Pulis is a football genius, Tottenham Hotspur, Twitter, West Ham United, Wolverhampton Wanderers | 1 Comment

The Premier League Preview 2024/25

Posted on 31/07/2024 by Wichita Lineman Was A Song I Once Heard

Normally I’d leave writing this until the eve of the Premier League season in mid-August. The rationale – it gave me the most time to assess the state of each team before making a prediction. The flaw has always remained … Continue reading →

Posted in Sports | Tagged Arsenal, Aston Villa, Bayern Munich, Bournemouth, Brentford, Brighton & Hove Albion, Bundesliga, Champions League, Chelsea, Crystal Palace, Erik Ten Hag, Everton, Farmer's league, Fulham, Geopolitical toy, Idiotic fat-fuck American tourist running a football club, Ipswich Town, Jason Tindall is a Patrick Bateman knockoff, Jürgen Klopp, Juventus, Leicester City, Liverpool, Manchester City, Manchester United, Martin Jol, Newcastle United, Nottingham Forest, Pep Guardiola, Premier League, Premier League Preview 2024-25, PSR, Real Madrid, Ruud Gullit, Serie A, Southampton, Thursday Night Wankers, Todd “Burger Me” Boehly, Tottenham Hotspur, Transfer window winners, West Ham United, Whiner transfer obsessed fans on Twitter, Wolverhampton Wanderers | 1 Comment

The Premier League Preview 2022/23

Posted on 31/07/2022 by Wichita Lineman Was A Song I Once Heard

We’re fast approaching the Qatar 2022 World Cup. Yeah, psyched for it. Remember when Qatar was awarded it? The world was very different back in 2010. Crappy 3G smartphones. Alex Ferguson was still managing Manchester United. Prince and Leonard Cohen … Continue reading →

Posted in Sports | Tagged Abu Dhabi, Andy Carroll, Antonio Conte, Arsenal, Aston Villa, £100m Gucci ambassador, Bernardo Silva, Boris Johnson, Bournemouth, Brentford, Brighton & Hove Albion, Burnley, Championship, Chelsea, Christine Hamilton, Clickbaitism, Covid, Cristiano Ronaldo, Crystal Palace, Darwin Nunez, Donald Trump was just a reality TV cunt in 2010, Dover, Erik Ten Hag, Erling Haaland, Everton, Farhad Moshiri, Fletching, Frank Lampard, Frenkie De Jong, Fulham, Gabriel Jesus, Gammon-Tory Brexit, German substitute teacher, Granit Xhaka, Groundhog Day, Jackson Pollock, Jurgen Klopp, Kylie Jenner, Latvia, Leeds United, Leicester City, Leonard Cohen, Liverpool, Liz "cheese" Truss, Manchester City, Manchester United, Mikel Arteta, Moldova, Moriarty, Negativity, Newcastle United, Nottingham Forest, Pegging, Peter Oborne, Prince, Prince Andrew being a teflon nonce, Qatar 2022 World Cup, Raheem Sterling, Real Madrid, Richarlison, Rwanda, Saudi Arabia, Southampton, Thomas Tuchel, Thursday night wankerdom, Top Four Trophy Twattery, Tottenham Hotspur, Ukraine, West Ham United, West London, Wolverhampton Wanderers | 1 Comment

The Premier League Preview 2018/19

Posted on 10/08/2018 by Wichita Lineman Was A Song I Once Heard

And so another season in the Premier League. This one has arrived quickly, with a foreboding urgency. The combination of the World Cup stifling the transfer market for five weeks, and the transfer window in England ending before the season … Continue reading →

Posted in Sports | Tagged Arsenal, Axe child benefit for single mums please said tosser Tory Tony from his townhouse in Marylebone, Bournemouth, Brexiteers, Brighton & Hove Albion, Burnley, Cardiff City, Catenaccio, Champions League, Chelsea, Crystal Palace, Everton, Exposed in Kiev?, Financial Fair Play, Fulham, Gastroenteritispub chain Wetherspoons, Gordon Gekko, Greed is Good, Huddersfield Town, I'm a football Tory, Jürgen Klopp, John Dyson is a twat, Leicester City, Liverpool, Manchester City, Manchester United, Marathon runner shooting themselves in the foot, Marouane fucking Fellaini, Marshall McLuhan, Miserable Mourinho, Money, Newcastle United, Pep Guardiola, Premier League 2018-19, Premier League Preview, Richarlison - £50m!, Southampton, Sports, Stan Kroenke - mediocre billionaire, The Internet Arses, Tit-rifle, Tottenham Hotspur, Transfer Market blues, Watford, West Ham United, Wolverhampton Wanderers, World Cup | 1 Comment