Tag Archives: Chelsea
The sale of Chelsea FC – a referendum on what doesn’t matter
Forest Gump winning the Best Picture Oscar in 1995 over Pulp Fiction and Shawshank Redemption seemed scandalous at the time, and it becomes more perplexing as time passes. Despite being nauseatingly sentimental, it has moments, and lines that have attained … Continue reading
Posted in Politics, Sports
Tagged "Honest" American billionaires, Abu Dhabi, Boris selling his arse for oil, Brexit, British millionaires in the 90's seems a world away, Cabbage Patch Kid faced despot, Chelsea, Forest Gump, Geopolitical hypocrisy, Gesture politics, Manchester City, Newcastle United, NFT’s are a con, Oligarch, Premier League, Pulp Fiction, Roman Abramovich, Russia, Saudi Arabia, Shawshank Redemption, Sportswashing, Vlad Putin's facelift
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The Premier League Preview 2021/22
The European Championships are over. Mercifully no more players collapsed with cardiac issues and Italy saved us from a tidal wave of insufferable English triumphalism, which, with a win, would finally be liberated from the embarrassment of perpetual failure. The … Continue reading
Posted in Sports
Tagged Agincourt, Anti-Josef Mengele approach to eugenics, Arsenal, Aston Villa, £600m, Baddiel and Skinner, Ben White - £50m!? Fuck me, Bingo wings, Boris Johnson, Brentford, Brexit, Brighton, Bundesliga, Burnley, Buyako Saka, Catatonic stupor, Chelsea, Choose hedonism and infantilism Choose darts, Crystal Palace, Daily Mail readers, Daniel Levy, Darlington, English triumphalism, European Championships, Euthanise Katie Hopkins, Everton, Financial Times, Frank Lampard on the dole, Harry Kane, Instagram, Jack Grealish, Jadon Sancho, Jordan Pickford - arrogant village idiot, Kai Havertz, Leeds United, Leicester City, Lincoln City, Lingering menacingly like Stuart Hall outside the ladies’ toilet, Liverpool, Magnificent moobs, Malcolm Tucker, Manchester City, Manchester United, Mike Ashley, Newcastle United, Nigel Farage, Norwich City, Ole Gunnar Solskjaer, Piers Morgan, Raheem Sterling, Raphael Varane, Sad bastard Twitter aggregators, Selling out to the Saudis, Serie A, Sheffield United, Smash up an Italian restaurant, Southampton, Southend, Sports-washing, Spurs, Steve Bruce, Ten German Bombers, The Premier League, the Royals, Thursday night wankerdom, Timo Werner, Too many tags, Top Four Twattery, VAR, VAR still relies on human ibeciles, Watford, Wembley, West Bromwich Albion, West Ham United, White van man Olympics, Wolves, World Matchplay darts
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The Premier League Preview 2020/21
Just as you didn’t need Covid-19 to return, here’s the return of my rubbish Premier League Preview column. Still, take some small amount of solace in this – Covid-19 has upset the established order of things, and my preview column … Continue reading
Posted in Sports
Tagged Abu Dhabi’s mobsters, Alex Ferguson, Alisson Becker, Arsenal, Aston Villa, Benjamin Mendy, Big time baller bet of 50p, Bright orange Sainsbury’s plastic bags, Brighton, Burnley, Chelsea, Crystal Palace, David De Gea, Donny Van De Beek, Downturn in football my arse - someone paid £28m for Ollie Watkins, Everton, Expected goals is for losers, Frank Lampard, Fulham, Harold Shipman, Irn Bru, It's Bayern Munchen Al!, Jürgen Klopp, Joao Cancelo's good amortisation properties, Jose Mourinho, Lavish specimens in West Yorkshire fishtanks, Leeds United, Leicester City, Leroy Sane, Lionel Messi will never do it on a cold windy November night in Stoke at this rate, Liverpool, Manchester City, Manchester United, Marcelo Bielsa, MESSI IN THE PREMIER LEAGUE FAM!, Mikel Arteta, Nathan Ake, N’Golo Kante, Newcastle United, No ingles señor, Ole Gunnar Solskjaer, Peter Risdale, Peter Risdale's cum soaked John Giles throne, Pogba and Fernandes sounds like a shite version of Hall & Oates, Roman Abramovich is a thieving cunt, Roy Keane, Sean Dyche’s mutant gingerness, Sheffield United, Southampton, Spurs, Stoke City, Trent Alexander-Arnold, Turf Moor, VAR still relies on human ibeciles, Virgil Van Dijk, West Bromwich Albion, West Ham United, White Lives Matter banner, Wilfried Zaha, Wolverhampton Wanderers
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The Premier League Preview 2019/20
And just like that, it’s back. Normally a new season brings excitement, but not this time. There’s been no hiatus from football to build anticipation. Between highly profitable summer overseas tours for top European clubs in North America and East … Continue reading
Posted in Sports
Tagged Alcoholic writer cliche, Arsenal, £200m on full backs, Baz Farage, Chelsea, Crap header picture I know, Dangerously overhyped American right wingers, Eden Hazard, Frank Lampard, Fucking deadlines, Guardiola's sweaters are shite, Harry ‘Slabhead’ Maguire - £80m!!!!, Jimmy Saville is Adam Johnson's dad, Leicester City, Liverpool, Manchester City, Manchester United, Shite Predictions, Sky Sports' spastics, Solskjaer for the sack, Spurs, The Premier League 2019/20, Thursday night wankerdom, Top six twats
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Wichita Lineman Was A Song I Once Heard 
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