Tag Archives: Chelsea
The Premier League Preview 2022/23
We’re fast approaching the Qatar 2022 World Cup. Yeah, psyched for it. Remember when Qatar was awarded it? The world was very different back in 2010. Crappy 3G smartphones. Alex Ferguson was still managing Manchester United. Prince and Leonard Cohen … Continue reading
Posted in Sports
Tagged Abu Dhabi, Andy Carroll, Antonio Conte, Arsenal, Aston Villa, £100m Gucci ambassador, Bernardo Silva, Boris Johnson, Bournemouth, Brentford, Brighton & Hove Albion, Burnley, Championship, Chelsea, Christine Hamilton, Clickbaitism, Covid, Cristiano Ronaldo, Crystal Palace, Darwin Nunez, Donald Trump was just a reality TV cunt in 2010, Dover, Erik Ten Hag, Erling Haaland, Everton, Farhad Moshiri, Fletching, Frank Lampard, Frenkie De Jong, Fulham, Gabriel Jesus, Gammon-Tory Brexit, German substitute teacher, Granit Xhaka, Groundhog Day, Jackson Pollock, Jurgen Klopp, Kylie Jenner, Latvia, Leeds United, Leicester City, Leonard Cohen, Liverpool, Liz "cheese" Truss, Manchester City, Manchester United, Mikel Arteta, Moldova, Moriarty, Negativity, Newcastle United, Nottingham Forest, Pegging, Peter Oborne, Prince, Prince Andrew being a teflon nonce, Qatar 2022 World Cup, Raheem Sterling, Real Madrid, Richarlison, Rwanda, Saudi Arabia, Southampton, Thomas Tuchel, Thursday night wankerdom, Top Four Trophy Twattery, Tottenham Hotspur, Ukraine, West Ham United, West London, Wolverhampton Wanderers
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The sale of Chelsea FC – a referendum on what doesn’t matter
Forest Gump winning the Best Picture Oscar in 1995 over Pulp Fiction and Shawshank Redemption seemed scandalous at the time, and it becomes more perplexing as time passes. Despite being nauseatingly sentimental, it has moments, and lines that have attained … Continue reading
Posted in Politics, Sports
Tagged "Honest" American billionaires, Abu Dhabi, Boris selling his arse for oil, Brexit, British millionaires in the 90's seems a world away, Cabbage Patch Kid faced despot, Chelsea, Forest Gump, Geopolitical hypocrisy, Gesture politics, Manchester City, Newcastle United, NFT’s are a con, Oligarch, Premier League, Pulp Fiction, Roman Abramovich, Russia, Saudi Arabia, Shawshank Redemption, Sportswashing, Vlad Putin's facelift
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The Premier League Preview 2021/22
The European Championships are over. Mercifully no more players collapsed with cardiac issues and Italy saved us from a tidal wave of insufferable English triumphalism, which, with a win, would finally be liberated from the embarrassment of perpetual failure. The … Continue reading
Posted in Sports
Tagged Agincourt, Anti-Josef Mengele approach to eugenics, Arsenal, Aston Villa, £600m, Baddiel and Skinner, Ben White - £50m!? Fuck me, Bingo wings, Boris Johnson, Brentford, Brexit, Brighton, Bundesliga, Burnley, Buyako Saka, Catatonic stupor, Chelsea, Choose hedonism and infantilism Choose darts, Crystal Palace, Daily Mail readers, Daniel Levy, Darlington, English triumphalism, European Championships, Euthanise Katie Hopkins, Everton, Financial Times, Frank Lampard on the dole, Harry Kane, Instagram, Jack Grealish, Jadon Sancho, Jordan Pickford - arrogant village idiot, Kai Havertz, Leeds United, Leicester City, Lincoln City, Lingering menacingly like Stuart Hall outside the ladies’ toilet, Liverpool, Magnificent moobs, Malcolm Tucker, Manchester City, Manchester United, Mike Ashley, Newcastle United, Nigel Farage, Norwich City, Ole Gunnar Solskjaer, Piers Morgan, Raheem Sterling, Raphael Varane, Sad bastard Twitter aggregators, Selling out to the Saudis, Serie A, Sheffield United, Smash up an Italian restaurant, Southampton, Southend, Sports-washing, Spurs, Steve Bruce, Ten German Bombers, The Premier League, the Royals, Thursday night wankerdom, Timo Werner, Too many tags, Top Four Twattery, VAR, VAR still relies on human ibeciles, Watford, Wembley, West Bromwich Albion, West Ham United, White van man Olympics, Wolves, World Matchplay darts
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The Premier League Preview 2020/21
Just as you didn’t need Covid-19 to return, here’s the return of my rubbish Premier League Preview column. Still, take some small amount of solace in this – Covid-19 has upset the established order of things, and my preview column … Continue reading
Posted in Sports
Tagged Abu Dhabi’s mobsters, Alex Ferguson, Alisson Becker, Arsenal, Aston Villa, Benjamin Mendy, Big time baller bet of 50p, Bright orange Sainsbury’s plastic bags, Brighton, Burnley, Chelsea, Crystal Palace, David De Gea, Donny Van De Beek, Downturn in football my arse - someone paid £28m for Ollie Watkins, Everton, Expected goals is for losers, Frank Lampard, Fulham, Harold Shipman, Irn Bru, It's Bayern Munchen Al!, Jürgen Klopp, Joao Cancelo's good amortisation properties, Jose Mourinho, Lavish specimens in West Yorkshire fishtanks, Leeds United, Leicester City, Leroy Sane, Lionel Messi will never do it on a cold windy November night in Stoke at this rate, Liverpool, Manchester City, Manchester United, Marcelo Bielsa, MESSI IN THE PREMIER LEAGUE FAM!, Mikel Arteta, Nathan Ake, N’Golo Kante, Newcastle United, No ingles señor, Ole Gunnar Solskjaer, Peter Risdale, Peter Risdale's cum soaked John Giles throne, Pogba and Fernandes sounds like a shite version of Hall & Oates, Roman Abramovich is a thieving cunt, Roy Keane, Sean Dyche’s mutant gingerness, Sheffield United, Southampton, Spurs, Stoke City, Trent Alexander-Arnold, Turf Moor, VAR still relies on human ibeciles, Virgil Van Dijk, West Bromwich Albion, West Ham United, White Lives Matter banner, Wilfried Zaha, Wolverhampton Wanderers
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Wichita Lineman Was A Song I Once Heard 
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