Tag Archives: Stoke City
The Premier League Preview 2020/21
Just as you didn’t need Covid-19 to return, here’s the return of my rubbish Premier League Preview column. Still, take some small amount of solace in this – Covid-19 has upset the established order of things, and my preview column … Continue reading
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Tagged Abu Dhabi’s mobsters, Alex Ferguson, Alisson Becker, Arsenal, Aston Villa, Benjamin Mendy, Big time baller bet of 50p, Bright orange Sainsbury’s plastic bags, Brighton, Burnley, Chelsea, Crystal Palace, David De Gea, Donny Van De Beek, Downturn in football my arse - someone paid £28m for Ollie Watkins, Everton, Expected goals is for losers, Frank Lampard, Fulham, Harold Shipman, Irn Bru, It's Bayern Munchen Al!, Jürgen Klopp, Joao Cancelo's good amortisation properties, Jose Mourinho, Lavish specimens in West Yorkshire fishtanks, Leeds United, Leicester City, Leroy Sane, Lionel Messi will never do it on a cold windy November night in Stoke at this rate, Liverpool, Manchester City, Manchester United, Marcelo Bielsa, MESSI IN THE PREMIER LEAGUE FAM!, Mikel Arteta, Nathan Ake, N’Golo Kante, Newcastle United, No ingles señor, Ole Gunnar Solskjaer, Peter Risdale, Peter Risdale's cum soaked John Giles throne, Pogba and Fernandes sounds like a shite version of Hall & Oates, Roman Abramovich is a thieving cunt, Roy Keane, Sean Dyche’s mutant gingerness, Sheffield United, Southampton, Spurs, Stoke City, Trent Alexander-Arnold, Turf Moor, VAR still relies on human ibeciles, Virgil Van Dijk, West Bromwich Albion, West Ham United, White Lives Matter banner, Wilfried Zaha, Wolverhampton Wanderers
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The Premier League Preview 2017/18
So yeah, another season. Time flies, doesn’t it? And during transfer season so does the money. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you might miss where it’s going and to who. I’d imagine many of … Continue reading
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Tagged Adam Smith, Alan Pardew and Patrick Bateman - the new Starsky & Hutch?, Arsenal, £50m for Glyfi Sigurdsson!, Bournemouth, Brighton & Hove Albion, Burnley, Champions League food chain, Chelsea, Crystal Palace, ESPN's shameless clickbait, Everton, Huddersfield, If you voted leave supporting Spurs makes sense for you, Kyle Walker should have Stephen Hawkings body, Leicester City, Liverpool, Manchester City, Manchester United, Newcastle United, Neymar, Richard Scudamore is a cunt, Southampton, Stoke City, Swansea City, The 'Is Pep Guardiola a genius?' watch, The Premier League Preview 2017/18, Tony Evans is still on the ale, Tottenham Hotspur, Watford, West Bromwich Albion, West Ham United
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The Premier League 2016/17 Preview
As with most fans of the beautiful game the excitement of a new season encroaches steadily. Each step builds your anticipation – in early June the transfer window opens, at the start of July the first wave of players report … Continue reading
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Tagged Alan Pardew is a toucher, All PL owners are greedy bastards, Antonio Conte's successful hair transplant, Arsenal, Arsenal to win the league - and no I'm not smoking crack cocaine, Bournemouth, Chelsea, Crystal Palace, ESPN's shameless clickbait, Everton, FUCK OFF TONY PULIS YOU NED SKIP HAT WEARING HOOF THE BALL BORING CUNT, Gotta love Leicester City's title win and Claudio Ranieri's interpretation of English, Hull City, Hull City are fucked, I'm exhausted after doing this, I'm not ready for this, Jose Mourinho is a twatcunt, Leicester City, Liverpool, Liverpool will be shite again, Manchester City, Manchester United, Middlesbrough, Ronald Koeman's impending depression, Southampton, Stoke City, Swansea City, The Paul Pogba gavage, Too many tags, Tottenham Hotspur, Watford, West Bromwich Albion, West Ham United, West Ham United are squatters
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The Premier League Quarterly Report 2015/16 – The Final Final Furlong, Ever!
I’ve been doing my Premier League pre-season prediction and update columns for three years now, though it seems much longer than that. Anyway, it’s the sort of thing that seemed like a good idea at the time, as the first … Continue reading
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Tagged Arsenal, Aston Villa, Aston Villa are dead human skin, Aye I compared the popularity of the Premier League's conservatism to the Bourbon Restoration - bet that's never happened before, Bournemouth, Chelsea, Crystal Palace, Everton, Feel like a sad bastard writing all of this guff, I'm picking Leicester City for the league - fuck me!, Joleon Lescott is a twat, Last time EVER!, Leicester City, Liverpool, Manchester City, Manchester United, Mike Ashley stripping! Wowsers in my trousers!, Mini Louis Van Gaal, Never again Ken!, Newcastle United, Nic Cage laughing gif is still the best, Norwich City, Premier League 2015/16, Southampton, Stoke City, Sunderland, Swansea City, The Final Furlong, The Premier League is rubbish, The Premier League Quarterly Report, Tony Pulis dresses like Jimmy Saville if Jimmy was a dogger, Took a swipe at David Moyes, Tottenham Hotspur, Watford, West Bromwich Albion, West Ham United
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The Premier League Quarterly Report 2015/16 – The Half-Way Point
Like Groundhog Day, I’m repeating myself in these Premier League columns, regurgitating the same thought, but, alas, it’s true – the Premier League continues to decline at an alarming rate. Superficially obfuscating this is its immense wealth and a delusional … Continue reading
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Tagged Arsenal, Arsenal for the League?, Aston Villa, Benteke is bollocks, Bill Murray, Bojan Krkic, Bournemouth, Cheslea, Crystal Palace, Everton, Groundhog Day, I miss Tim Sherwood, Jurgen Klopp will soon need another hair transplant, Kyle Walker & Danny Rose - the 21st century Chuckle Brothers, Leicester City, Liverpool, Louis Van Gaal's face is melting, Manchester City, Manchester United, Mike Ashley is a fat bastard, Mourinho on the dole, Newcastle United, Norwich City, Odion Ighalo, Pep Guardiola to Swansea City, Remi (with an 'I') Garde, Southampton, Stoke City, Sunderland, Swansea City, The Half-Way point, The Premier League Quarterly Report, Tony Pulis is the abyss of humanity, Too many tags lad!, Tottenham Hotspur, Watford, West Bromwich Albion, West Ham United, You've just been Shane Longed
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