You stupid bastards

The only thing sillier than predicting the future is the future itself.

Now maybe that’s been said before, in fact it probably has, though perhaps slightly differently. I’ve probably read it and it’s been lodged in the ever shrinking subconscious part of my mind. Either way it seems apt now.

I don’t worry about my own future, as I’m in my mid-thirties now, so I’m well past it. But I do for young people, particularly those who aren’t eligible to vote. They deserve better.

This occurred to me after seeing the results of the election come in on Friday morning. I kept thinking of the location where I cast my vote on Thursday morning – St. Ninians primary school in Knightswood. As with any primary school that’s temporarily converted into a polling station, aside from the kids and the teachers, everything was left in situ, including pictures on the wall of the kids. They looked happy in those pictures. Now, I’ve always had a mild aversion to children, in the sense that I find them annoyingly smug in their infantile liberation, but I do acknowledge that they’re not malicious cunts like the adults who consistently betray them and did so on Thursday.

So what’s the difference? Well, kids are yet to be worn down by self-consciousness and made cynical by the difficulties and disappointments of adult life. They don’t think about death and taxes, or worry about the future. They have their whole lives ahead of them. Clearly this last point doesn’t occur to Tory voters in Scotland, or, even more egregiously, it does and they believe, in the ultimate of delusions, that we’ve never had it so good, and that we (and this includes future generations) will continue to. Just, well, because.

Seeing the Tories pick up twelve seats in Scotland was sickening. The raison d’être of Tory voting demographics; elderly voters, who have lived their lives, selfishly voting for themselves or to resist the imposition of change, the dogma of the “No Surrender” crowd with their red hand of Ulster tattoos and hard-line Unionists who are obsessed with stopping independence at all costs, are understood. It’s the spite and selfishness of the non-Tories tactically voting Tory just to prevent a second independence referendum that I can’t handle. You stupid fucking bastards. In fact, when considering the importance of posterity, it beggars belief that they’ve ignored the contemporary and historical realities of Tory rule in favour of a misguided attempt to resolve their grievance with an ongoing constitutional issue.

And you know what, if they’re gonna have this level of contempt for young who can’t vote to protect themselves, they deserve to cop some, and they will, from Brexit. But they also deserve some right now – even if it’s just from me on a blog nobody reads, so here it is – everyone who voted for Tories is complete and utter scum. They’ve sold the kids out, and I hope they all get cancer of the ringpiece. I know that isn’t a pleasant or constructive musing, but neither is a Tory government.

Also not constructive, but funny nonetheless, was an extreme measure offered up on Twitter – to carpet bomb all areas of the UK that aren’t towns and cities and euthanise anyone over seventy. I know country folk who are the complete antithesis of the usual stereotypes, and there are older voters who don’t vote Tory, but, let’s be honest here, in both cases they’re the minority – mostly, I suspect, because folk working in Fishing or Agriculture always get taken for granted.

You’ve gotta love to loathe Ruth Davidson, she’s a pound-shop Donald Trump and an arch arsewipe opportunist who, like a proper aspirational faux neo-liberal, nauseatingly places her image, career and own financial gain ahead of political principle or her self-respect. The gall of her claiming that Indyref2 is now dead after the Tories won twelve seats in Scotland out of fifty-nine was quite something. Despite all the attempts to project and foist our own narratives on what the outcome means (who knows?), let’s not forget why this election actually occurred in the first place – a combination of Tory hubris that a larger majority was in the bag regardless of what campaign they ran, that Thatcher’s children would reject Corbynism, and that the increased majority would reinforce their mandate for a hard, veins filled with custard and lard, Brexit. This election wasn’t a vote on whether Independence should or shouldn’t happen, or whether it will remain on the agenda. The SNP continue to receive that mandate on a local and national level. Anyway, with the Tories no longer having a majority, Ruth can now look forward to the delights of being associated with the DUP. Not that she’s averse to working with creationist, xenophobic, sectarian, homophobic, evangelical pro-life nutters to feather her own nest.

Speaking of the DUP – a nutter fringe that make UKIP seem as benign as the fucking Teletubbies (though in the DUP production of Teletubbies, Laa-Laa would be made to keep the baby because the Earth is only four thousand years old). Anyway, this lot are now poised to prop up the Tories in government. What does this mean for Northern Ireland post Brexit? The DUP advocate a hard border, which would jeopardise the Peace Process. The DUP helping the Tories to govern contravenes the essence of the Good Friday agreement, where the Unionist or Nationalist parties should receive no form of favouritism from Westminster, but the Tories are going to have to make concessions for the help. It seems nothing is more important to Theresa May than preserving her own position. She is utterly shameless.

As for the state of Scottish independence there was a lot of hand-wringing by Yes folk on Twitter as the results were coming in. A significant drop in support for independence and that a change of leadership was now needed were the most common musings. So it was surprising that a BBC journalist had the most salient take of all:

We know there are more people out there who vote for independence but not the SNP, than vice-versa. The SNP lost just two percent of their vote on a lower turnout. They won the majority of seats. But hey, what do I know? Perception is everything. They lost twenty-one seats, so now Independence is far less likely, or a referendum won’t occur until [insert date plucked out of your arse here – preferably after you’ve euthanised your ringpiece cancer with Vindaloo]. What did I say earlier about predicting the future? Who would’ve predicted any of this five years ago?

What happens next? Well, there’s still Brexit to come, or will it come at all? Will there be another independence referendum? Will there be another election? Nobody knows, certainly not me. But at least the kids are alright, until they become like us.

About Wichita Lineman Was A Song I Once Heard

Wichita Lineman Was A Song I Once Heard. 'Mediocre blogger and a piously boring and unfunny writer'. Enthusiastic purveyor of the KLF sheep.
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