From the album ‘Tromatic Reflexxions’ (2007)
From the album ‘The Bright Mississippi’ (2009)
I’ve got gibberish rhymes,
For these insane times
A green antelope
Looks forwards,
But walks backwards
Up a slope
Is this a trope?
Or are you on dope?
Is it okay to say innit?
If you eat a giblet,
On a boat, in an inlet
Are we bargaining yet?
Go on have another bet
Depression is just regret.
Do something strange,
Ask someone for change
As you squat on a driving range,
Or on a golf course,
While having a discourse
About your impending divorce
Why not buy a subway footlong?
You know why it’s shaped oblong?
So you can shove it up yer arse
But you better make its filling sparse,
Or you’ll sing a high pitched song
About not being able to wear a thong
Have you been to Scarborough fair?
It’s just like anywhere
Plastic bags in trees,
That apathetic disease,
Spreads on a breeze
To Stockton-on-tees
The world’s our dust bin,
Existing inside a biscuit tin
Resting on a fat man’s chin
It’s our psychotic twin
That cuts up credit cards,
Sharp like glass shards
Where else? On the telly
Some Yank blew his brains away,
While I listened to Krautrock
It was quite a shock,
That the sight of blood spray
Is better to Can’s strings of jelly
Then some old has been
Claimed it was his dream
To proliferate a scene
Like filling water with chlorine
Just need to think of a theme,
You know what I mean?
Nope. So are you alone?
Like that potato scone
You left in a cool throne
Launched a drone,
That left the others to bemoan
Shattered skin and bone
That made front page news,
Designed by Palestinian Jews
Putin’s got a Ukrainian muse,
I got me some UKIP views
‘bout the cause of their ascent:
Too thick, like Arnie’s accent
I looked, didn’t even try,
At a woman walking by
In a leather jacket and pink heels,
While her spare tyre squeals
It’ll give everyone ideals
About buying kids happy meals
Ahh Children, the future they say,
Finding wasteland, again today
Set all the books on fire,
As light entertainment is dire
Surely there’s a man you can hire,
To commit suicide with chicken wire?
Yes, these are insane times
So are these gibberish rhymes?
From the album ‘Something Else by The Kinks’ (1967)
My mum died a year ago today. This isn’t the time or place for me to write something thoughtful or sufficiently thorough, the kind of eulogy her formidable nature deserved, so to honour her I’ll use the one medium that we both agreed was essential – music. Our tastes diverged as often as they met, and while I wouldn’t listen to some of these tracks through choice, whenever I hear them now it reminds me of her and the good times I know she had.
So over to you mum, gone but never forgotten.
Heart of Glass by Blondie
From the album ‘Parallel Lines’ (1978)
Brown Girl in the Ring by Boney M
From the album ‘Nightflight to Venus’ (1978)
Love and Affection by Joan Armatrading
From the album ‘Joan Armatrading’ (1976)
Hallelujah by Leonard Cohen
From the album ‘Various Positions’ (1984)
Brown Eyed Girl by Van Morrison
From the album ‘Blowin’ Your Mind’ (1967)
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