It now becomes clear. David Cameron has taken some canny advice, and is trying to sabotage the Union.

cameron sad face

When I originally wrote this piece almost a year ago, it was entirely in the glib sensibility, honest. I was trying to make light of the landscape of the referendum on Scottish independence at that time. Things were certainly different, the Yes campaign was only starting to make inroads, and even those were only seen to constitute a minor shift. The Union was still under no threat whatsoever. It looked as is if it would take more time than the Yes campaign had left to fatally puncture the pro Unionist propaganda and lies that pervaded the mainstream media. With the media desperate and complicit to serve their own meagre vested interests in toadying up to the elitist structure than consumes British wealth, they looked to inculcate the widespread apathy among the electorate that change wasn’t possible and or misinform the undecided voter, or entrench those who were starting from a default position of No.

So, it was going really well, there really was no need for Dave, sorry David, no sorry Dave Cameron, to take time from his busy schedule of warmongering, exacerbating the UK’s wealth disparity and partaking in his party’s campaign of victimising the unemployed, infirm and impoverished to traverse all the way up to one of the ‘provinces’, to put the delusional arrogant wee Leckie in his place in a live debate. So he appointed one of his centre-right neo-liberalist cronies to do it for him, a second rater for a second rate concern. In retrospect it’s become clear now that’s when the contingency plan was put in place.

Thankfully this worked better than we ever dared to hope, but now I’m left wondering for whom?

Now David, Ed, and Nick, dubbed the three (un)wise men, but I prefer The Three Stooges, are to arrive in Scotland some time over the next twenty-four hours, they’re depriving Westminster of their essential presences too, to make the case for the Union. Or so David Cameron claims. They’ll be followed by the twin pillars of diversity in Nigel Farage and the Orange Order on Friday and Saturday respectively, also looking to make the case for the Union. This follows on from Gordon ‘loser’ Brown fronting their new unconstitutional, undefined offer of more powers earlier in the week. What a line-up of failure. What a shit sandwich. Add it all together and it immediately reminded me of the plan I outlined for David Cameron months ago, that if we did reach this point, where the referendum did shift on its axis, so would the machinations and motivations behind Dave’s attempts to ‘save’ the Union. Instead of actually wanting to save the Union, he would only appear to, and in the climate in which this referendum now exists, his actions would have the seemingly unintentional effect of sabotaging it.

Take the change of campaign name away from Better Together, is it but a disingenuous manoeuvre. Think about it, now we’re to be treated to the sight of The Three Stooges from Westminster, the home of elitism and cronyism, appearing under No Thanks signs. No Thanks to what? Westminster politics? Talk about well designed.

All the evidence fits, doesn’t it? It’s been played perfectly: show them how disinterested we are, and then show an interest when the prevailing attitude among the Scottish electorate towards our attitude towards them has piqued. Charlie Brooker’s fantastic and hilarious column may have been glib, but his perpetual cynicism perfectly mirrors the vista of Westminster politicians, politics and politicking that’s now held by most of the UK populace. Their brazenly apathetic, until recently, approach to this referendum has put many onto the racket these fuckers are running and have been for some time. The Scottish issue means this potential contaminant has been concentrated into a gold fish bowl where fall guys can be elected and much more easily be shot at. Only sadly, at this time, it’s just us in Scotland who have the chance to blow them away. This plays perfectly into David Cameron’s long term goal of gaining infamy. History has proven that the populace of the rUK can be distracted into a state of amnesia by the fall of political figures. The end justifies the means if it means that ideas and policies can survive.

Now the best has to come to seal the deal. That means that the No campaign have to be in full capitulation mode. Gordon ‘look at me, I’m a failed chancellor and PM who broke his word, but yeah, trust me this time’ Brown has been wheeled out this week. He’s come seemingly out of nowhere offering the promise of more powers in the event of a No vote. Though he hasn’t said what these are, just promised a timetable. But this confusion is just the start.

His introduction has feinted attention away from what’s really happening. It’s posed many questions, firstly how badly does a campaign have to be run, before suspicions are aroused? No Thanks have placed a failed chancellor with a banking crisis on his record, and as the PM was so uninspiring that it made Disco Dave and the Tories seem more appealing, a current Labour back bencher with no authority, front and centre of an offer. It’s amazing that so many people are so immured that they can’t see what’s really happening. And better yet this was during a period of Purdah, after one out of every six voters has already voted, which essentially contravenes those votes, by allegedly offering, maybe, kinda, not sure, as none of the main three parties can agree what the offer is, some form of the Devo Max fob off that David Cameron originally rejected having on the ballot two years ago. This now looks like an ingenuous bit of foresight by Davie, doesn’t it?

Thankfully this has been seen as a derisory, contemptuous, craven, unconstitutional offer necessitated by pure desperation. They’re still trying to appeal to their belief that many of us still carry the ‘we cannae, cause they say so’ meme implanted through generations of imperialist rule. That’s the entirety of their fucking shameless shameful campaign now, and what they’ve now realised is that after a while, even the most loyal ‘defenders of the Unionist faith’ get tired of hearing how second rate Scotland and its people are compared to their benefactors down south. So why hasn’t the message changed already? Isn’t it obvious? The PM wants it to remain the same. He’s out of options, only one remains. You’ll hear more of their rhetoric laced with pure defeatism, particularly about ‘economic realities‘, though it’s not said what these are, but that they’ll ensure a ‘race to the bottom’. That’s pure campaign gold for the Yes campaign.

Credit where credit’s due, the opportunity has presented itself and Dave’s in position to seize it. Expect David Cameron to make that announcement soon, possibly on Wednesday, challenging Leckie to a debate, in a duel to the death of the Union. And why not, it can’t fail, both now have the same goal, and Alex Salmond has been preparing for this moment his whole life – the chance to seal Scotland’s independence by sticking it to the most divisive, destructive and loathed PM since Thatcher. And no, sorry Tony Blair and Tony Blair’s vanity, even though you’re a massive cunt, you’re not in this conversation.

The next ten days are going to be great theatre. And my advice to David Cameron now seems to be coming to pass. Getting rid of Scotland might be the best thing he ever does for him and his kin. He alone can save the centre-right zeitgeist of Westminster politics. All he needs to do is believe that his new path is for the greater good, and have faith that the rest of us, on both sides of the border, post independence for Scotland, will take care of the rest.

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Essential Listening: What’s Going On [Deluxe Edition] – Marvin Gaye (2001)

What's Going On (Deluxe Edition 2001) (A)

On “What’s Going On” as you approach the end of ‘Right On’ you’re already in complete agreement with Marvin’s lament at society’s incremental dystopia caused by ideological factionism, and of his will not to be cowed into pessimism. You’ve been carried this far with a buoyancy that emphatically answers, or should, the question as to why this album endures. The pitiful prevailing political centre-right zeitgeist of the here and now, its nauseating rhetoric, laced with defeatism and fear, that stokes sectarian extremism, carried forth by the economically, intellectually or morally impoverished, ensures this album’s topical resonance. More than anything, it sounds right. Soul as it should be: honest, melodic and without pretention. Structurally the composition is continuous, where one track seamlessly becomes the next. Marvin Gaye’s dialogue within each track is of the impeccable earnestness, his tone is both idealistic and forlorn, suggesting that he’s aware that his search for truth and reconciliation won’t find a solution. But he’ll ask anyway.

You’ll already know about this album, and you should already own it. If you don’t, well, that’s daft, so be smart and rectify this gross mistake and get yourself a copy. But if you want to be truly smart, then you should get the Deluxe Edition released in 2001.

The reasons for getting the Deluxe Edition of “What’s Going On” aren’t immediately clear. Remastering, the usual motivation, is of marginal benefit here. There’s a remix version of the album, but the changes are slight and therefore mostly redundant. The one exception being the remixed version of ‘Inner City Blues’, which concentrates on the symbolic heartbeat that runs throughout it, its added punch provides an added depth to the song’s fable. The real appeal of this reissue is the live concert, performed at the Kennedy Center in 1972, where Gaye performs the entirety and more of “What’s Going On” on stage for the first time. It’s the symposium where he confirms his status a truly transcendent cultural figure.

And that’s important, particularly for those of us whose consciousnesses arrived after he departed. To us, Gaye, like some long dead Hollywood icon, has attained a mystique by virtue of distance. As such his career is consumed differently. It remains sequestered, safe from the jaundiced revisionism from a modern culture that has little original commentary to offer on any retrospective. You can ensure circumvention of this process by downloading all of Gaye’s music, as you can James Dean’s films say, but even so the wider consumption and subsequent over contextualisation of these figures, that inevitably occurs these days, is somewhat lacking. Gaye had a long career, but as he and it just ended, his body of work is complete and therefore there’s little scope to deface it. We’ve seen other transcendent figures of music, survivors let’s say, who have fallen foul of their own standards and the apathy towards their talents that time can induce. The various solo projects of the Beatles after they disbanded are perpetually overshadowed by our fixation with the greatness of their group dynamic. Gaye’s lack of longevity meant no later albums, which meant no perceived decline, like the Stones suffered, allowing derisive comparisons of how great they were to how average they became. There was no triumphant comeback after a long hiatus of live performing, as Kate Bush is currently enjoying, and even that’s been subject to superficial derisions, albeit mainly by insecure middle aged male scribes clearly jealous of their own relative infirmity.

This release is also important as many bootlegs of live shows, particularly before digital recording, can be poor. Some will pretentiously argue the niche benefits of a shitty sound board. There are dickheads who believe that bad mastering provides a vista of authenticity into what it’s really like to be present at a gig in such eras. Thankfully this live show is the antidote to that nonsense, it’s as clean as a whistle and it’s the least Gaye’s performance deserves.

Gaye warms up with a ‘Sixties Medley’. All Motown classics of course, even if by then they were only a decade (at most) old. They’re amalgamated in the same manner of “What’s Going On”, floating seamlessly from one to next over thirteen minutes. ‘Heard It Through The Grapevine’ seems like a must for the audience’s sake, just so they could say they were there to see it, and it gets the loudest cheer. However it’s his rendition of ‘That’s The Way Love Is’, which he opens with, that stands out. It’s easily better than the original because it’s reinterpreted in the contemporary soul sound that characterises “What’s Going On”. The sax starts with a solemn sultriness while Gaye giggles, clearly delighted to be back in the saddle. The first verse emphasizes immediately why Gaye’s one of the great performers, there’s no difference in the stability or strength of his voice between the studio recordings and live performance. If anything singing with a live band accentuates his voice, whether by design or otherwise, I’m going with design, the volume of the brass and the piano are blunted behind a combination of Gaye’s voice, retaining its potency on the mic, and the openness of a venue. The band in the absence of Gaye’s lyrics, prove their value, as the piano solo between ‘That’s The Way Love Is’ and ‘You’ mirrors the tenor of excellence that follows.

What does follow isn’t in the original order of the album. It starts with ‘Right On’, which comes third to last on the album. The key here, and it’s something you wouldn’t realise without the live show, is that these songs make sense in any order when performed live. It makes you feel silly for having projected your own comparative inadequacies of expecting safe adherence to a chronology, particularly when the observations and thoughts that constitute the album tend not to arrive as so; and of course Gaye can make music malleable, especially his own.

Starting with ‘Right On’ in a live show makes sense as it’s one of the album’s more vibrant offerings, ‘Inner City Blues’, one of its most emotive, comes third. And it’s the best version you’ll hear of it. The nagging suspicion at the beginning, to the untrained ear, is that it sounds a half octave slower. The crowd takes the bait and starts clapping along. This is confirmed when Gaye breaks off and announces he’s ‘determined to make this a groovy tune’. He announces his intention to start again, and you’re happy about that, but what you really want is for him not to stop. At the end of ‘Inner City Blues’ the pause by Gaye before that elongated exclamation of discontent, which elevates then evaporates flawlessly into the sax, is majestic. Before the pause the anticipation from the audience is palpable, yet even when it meets their expectations they’re still left to scramble for an honest reaction to seeing this performed so meticulously in front of them. They start clapping to a beat that’s supposed to be unobtrusive on its road to extinction, and yes that means that Marvin was good to his word, he succeeded in coercing the audience into helping him make it groovier.

Here ‘Right On’ and ‘Inner City Blues’, sandwich ‘Wholy Holy’. Wholy Holy, as the title suggests, is deigned to be preached. Preached, as a word, has been, in certain cases, fairly maligned and stigmatised, but Marvin’s softly delivered gospel and audibly passionate crescendo makes the sanguine emotiveness of Christian conventions accessible and benign, even to us agnostics. Due to its position in the live show, it becomes further purified, free from the blight of human cynicism and its attempts to oppress its narrator in the songs bookend it. The message: you don’t need to be a believer to believe in this.

Everyone can believe in the message behind ‘Save The Children’. As per usual Marvin asks that question, ‘who really cares?’ A woman in the audience can clearly be heard replying ‘I do’. In a live setting the start of this song carries within it an analogous subtext for Gaye’s sense of self worth, inexorably linked to his ability for authorial self determination. It meant his professional validation as a songwriter, and his success at delivering the album’s concept, had been confirmed by the people whose opinions matter the most, in the forum where he was at his best.

By this point Marvin’s clearly relieved that it had gone so well. Now relaxed, he can admit that he isn’t satisfied with the performance. Marvin asks if the crowd wants to hear anything again. It’s a leading question, and he knows the answer before it comes, but he wants to hear them say it. They say all of it, of course they do, and his laugh is disingenuously playful in response. Thankfully, he indulges them, with reprise versions of ‘What’s Going On’ and ‘Inner City Blues’. In this day and age of copious reissues, we can indulge ourselves again and again on greatness. But when it comes to “What’s Going On” you’ll gravitate to the live set every time. And it’s obvious why – it’s the purest restoration of a genius at the peak of his powers, performing his finest album, the most irresistible of combinations.

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Song Of The Day – Blank Generation by Richard Hell & The Voidoids

From the album ‘Blank Generation’ (1977)

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Song Of The Day – Ghosts by Japan

From the album ‘Tin Drum’ (1981)

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The miserable truth behind Sky’s coverage of ‘Transfer Deadline Day’ (Revisited).

kirsty gallacher is fit as fuck

This is a reposting of an article I wrote in the build-up to Sky’s coverage of Transfer Deadline Day last summer. As expected Transfer Deadline Day managed to be addictive, compelling and amateurish, occasionally at the same time. You can find my original article here, if you can be bothered.

Normally I’d admonish myself for reblogging one of my own articles. It creates an odd feeling within, where the original piece is shifted into a dispiriting void, fought over by the more lamentable facets of my nature – sheer laziness and conceit.

But this new personal context in which I’ve placed it perfectly sums up the egomaniac essence of Transfer Deadline Day. Since I wrote the piece a year ago very little has changed, and what has been altered has not been for the better. Transfer fees, agent fees and player wages are still escalating, at an unconscionable and immoral rate. Jim White is still alive somehow, and has finally settled on the Silver Fox look. Jimbo’s brand of cocained up stock broker exuberance was always peculiar and mildly off-putting, but now you’re entitled to suspect that Jimbo’s behaviour is entirely an act. He may well have consciously succumbed to his manic-depressive tendencies as a means of suppressing the agonising realisation of how ridiculous he’s had to become to be considered an essential part of this madness, because this is likely to be the pinnacle of his career.

As the picture above exemplifies, the girls are still stunning, almost impossibly so, to the point where you’re happy to watch Sky Sports HQ, as it’s now called, on mute for a good twenty minutes. Eventually not even Kirsty Gallacher, Kate Abdo or Charlie Webster can overcome its garish colour scheme, banal headlines of footballers getting hair transplants and its cascade of advertisement breaks of products belonging to the biggest exploitative businesses around. When combined and concentrated like this it starts to erode the delusional optimism you require to get through the day. It rams home the truth without recourse that, socially and culturally, we’re in terminal decline.

But hey, it’s bright, the new studio is snazzy, and just like any product that’s mired in mediocrity, it’s been rebranded, so it’s great again! And money, loadsa money, is being moved around by grasping cunts and ‘Totalised’, of course. Even better: the grand totem of this comi-tragic charade, ‘Arry, is back in the big time, and due to QPR’s shite start he’s bound to be all up in ‘the action’.

Like any tabloid-esque incarnation, it succeeds because of our compulsive need for addictions, and our need to satiate them. You’re trapped into watching this garbage of mis-information and copius amounts of lazy sourcing (from Twitter) because you care about something that matters that shouldn’t matter this much. In conjunction with social media, Transfer Deadline Day’s existence propagates cravenly self-entitled childish rants by fans on Twitter, who, without fail, will get worked up by watching a show cynically designed to agitate them as their team ‘desperately scrambles’ to get deals done. If you’re one of the more sophisticated (I use this with the deepest irony possible) viewers, you’re no better, as you’ll nervously and hypocritically count down the seconds in quiet agony, hoping that your team isn’t involved in this clusterfuck.

Thankfully it ends, and the world will seem like a better place on the 2nd of September, until you remember it’s only five months until the next Transfer Deadline Day.

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