When I originally wrote this piece almost a year ago, it was entirely in the glib sensibility, honest. I was trying to make light of the landscape of the referendum on Scottish independence at that time. Things were certainly different, the Yes campaign was only starting to make inroads, and even those were only seen to constitute a minor shift. The Union was still under no threat whatsoever. It looked as is if it would take more time than the Yes campaign had left to fatally puncture the pro Unionist propaganda and lies that pervaded the mainstream media. With the media desperate and complicit to serve their own meagre vested interests in toadying up to the elitist structure than consumes British wealth, they looked to inculcate the widespread apathy among the electorate that change wasn’t possible and or misinform the undecided voter, or entrench those who were starting from a default position of No.
So, it was going really well, there really was no need for Dave, sorry David, no sorry Dave Cameron, to take time from his busy schedule of warmongering, exacerbating the UK’s wealth disparity and partaking in his party’s campaign of victimising the unemployed, infirm and impoverished to traverse all the way up to one of the ‘provinces’, to put the delusional arrogant wee Leckie in his place in a live debate. So he appointed one of his centre-right neo-liberalist cronies to do it for him, a second rater for a second rate concern. In retrospect it’s become clear now that’s when the contingency plan was put in place.
Thankfully this worked better than we ever dared to hope, but now I’m left wondering for whom?
Now David, Ed, and Nick, dubbed the three (un)wise men, but I prefer The Three Stooges, are to arrive in Scotland some time over the next twenty-four hours, they’re depriving Westminster of their essential presences too, to make the case for the Union. Or so David Cameron claims. They’ll be followed by the twin pillars of diversity in Nigel Farage and the Orange Order on Friday and Saturday respectively, also looking to make the case for the Union. This follows on from Gordon ‘loser’ Brown fronting their new unconstitutional, undefined offer of more powers earlier in the week. What a line-up of failure. What a shit sandwich. Add it all together and it immediately reminded me of the plan I outlined for David Cameron months ago, that if we did reach this point, where the referendum did shift on its axis, so would the machinations and motivations behind Dave’s attempts to ‘save’ the Union. Instead of actually wanting to save the Union, he would only appear to, and in the climate in which this referendum now exists, his actions would have the seemingly unintentional effect of sabotaging it.
Take the change of campaign name away from Better Together, is it but a disingenuous manoeuvre. Think about it, now we’re to be treated to the sight of The Three Stooges from Westminster, the home of elitism and cronyism, appearing under No Thanks signs. No Thanks to what? Westminster politics? Talk about well designed.
All the evidence fits, doesn’t it? It’s been played perfectly: show them how disinterested we are, and then show an interest when the prevailing attitude among the Scottish electorate towards our attitude towards them has piqued. Charlie Brooker’s fantastic and hilarious column may have been glib, but his perpetual cynicism perfectly mirrors the vista of Westminster politicians, politics and politicking that’s now held by most of the UK populace. Their brazenly apathetic, until recently, approach to this referendum has put many onto the racket these fuckers are running and have been for some time. The Scottish issue means this potential contaminant has been concentrated into a gold fish bowl where fall guys can be elected and much more easily be shot at. Only sadly, at this time, it’s just us in Scotland who have the chance to blow them away. This plays perfectly into David Cameron’s long term goal of gaining infamy. History has proven that the populace of the rUK can be distracted into a state of amnesia by the fall of political figures. The end justifies the means if it means that ideas and policies can survive.
Now the best has to come to seal the deal. That means that the No campaign have to be in full capitulation mode. Gordon ‘look at me, I’m a failed chancellor and PM who broke his word, but yeah, trust me this time’ Brown has been wheeled out this week. He’s come seemingly out of nowhere offering the promise of more powers in the event of a No vote. Though he hasn’t said what these are, just promised a timetable. But this confusion is just the start.
His introduction has feinted attention away from what’s really happening. It’s posed many questions, firstly how badly does a campaign have to be run, before suspicions are aroused? No Thanks have placed a failed chancellor with a banking crisis on his record, and as the PM was so uninspiring that it made Disco Dave and the Tories seem more appealing, a current Labour back bencher with no authority, front and centre of an offer. It’s amazing that so many people are so immured that they can’t see what’s really happening. And better yet this was during a period of Purdah, after one out of every six voters has already voted, which essentially contravenes those votes, by allegedly offering, maybe, kinda, not sure, as none of the main three parties can agree what the offer is, some form of the Devo Max fob off that David Cameron originally rejected having on the ballot two years ago. This now looks like an ingenuous bit of foresight by Davie, doesn’t it?
Thankfully this has been seen as a derisory, contemptuous, craven, unconstitutional offer necessitated by pure desperation. They’re still trying to appeal to their belief that many of us still carry the ‘we cannae, cause they say so’ meme implanted through generations of imperialist rule. That’s the entirety of their fucking shameless shameful campaign now, and what they’ve now realised is that after a while, even the most loyal ‘defenders of the Unionist faith’ get tired of hearing how second rate Scotland and its people are compared to their benefactors down south. So why hasn’t the message changed already? Isn’t it obvious? The PM wants it to remain the same. He’s out of options, only one remains. You’ll hear more of their rhetoric laced with pure defeatism, particularly about ‘economic realities‘, though it’s not said what these are, but that they’ll ensure a ‘race to the bottom’. That’s pure campaign gold for the Yes campaign.
Credit where credit’s due, the opportunity has presented itself and Dave’s in position to seize it. Expect David Cameron to make that announcement soon, possibly on Wednesday, challenging Leckie to a debate, in a duel to the death of the Union. And why not, it can’t fail, both now have the same goal, and Alex Salmond has been preparing for this moment his whole life – the chance to seal Scotland’s independence by sticking it to the most divisive, destructive and loathed PM since Thatcher. And no, sorry Tony Blair and Tony Blair’s vanity, even though you’re a massive cunt, you’re not in this conversation.
The next ten days are going to be great theatre. And my advice to David Cameron now seems to be coming to pass. Getting rid of Scotland might be the best thing he ever does for him and his kin. He alone can save the centre-right zeitgeist of Westminster politics. All he needs to do is believe that his new path is for the greater good, and have faith that the rest of us, on both sides of the border, post independence for Scotland, will take care of the rest.