DEPRESSION

Is a song with no ending

HAPPINESS

Means not pretending

RELAX

Stop looking at the clock

AUSTERITY

Is just a load of poppycock

GREEKS

Arm themselves with facts

DYLAN

Blood On The Tracks

SLEEPING

Or am I really awake?

HEADACHE

Go away! For fuck sake!

THINKING

Doesn’t equate to clarity

KEBABS

Are cancer’s main charity

SUMMER

Means sweat between your bum checks

TENNIS

Nobody’s for it the other fifty weeks

SUNSHINE

It just came and went

RAIN

Arrived, and won’t relent

TWITTER

I don’t give a fuck what’s trending

HUMILIATION

Is nearly always condescending

YEAST

Is the ultimate test

BREAD

And yeah, mine’s the best

NEIGHBOURS

A metaphor for incongruity

POETRY

Seems like an opportunity

WRINKLES

They make you wince

IRONY

My self-esteem since

COCONUTS

Buy one, just to hang it out

BOUNTY

Are there any about?

TOILET

The only room you can relax in

WRITING

The hardest part? Where to begin

FAT

Is a state, not a disease

FREEDOM

Is doing as you please

FOOTBALL

Will be back too soon

MONEY

Turns a fool into a loon

HOLIDAYS

Like fags ends lying in the street

STRUCTURE

A euphemism for rinse and repeat

ISLAMISM

Is not to blame for terrorism

NEWSPAPERS

Are the shittiest mechanism

MCDONALDS

Its slogan is a requiem

DRUGS

Nearly everyone’s on them

MORNINGS

Because they’re rough

TODAY

Just isn’t precious enough

TOMORROW

I can feel my will bending

POEM

Thankfully this one has an ending