I am Michael Gove.

Poor? I want you to turn off your stoves.

Foreign? I want you to leave in your droves.

The TUC? Strike? That would be great,

To help me crush this blight of a nanny state.

Because I am Michael Gove.

I am Michael Gove.

These Twitter scroungers are a disgrace.

How dare they mock my cum face.

Saying my mouth resembles a Baboon’s arse,

And that I’ve turned education into a farce.

Just because I am Michael Gove.

I am Michael Gove.

I showed my prowess on Question Time,

By offering Will Self out anytime.

Oh Maggie, you would’ve been so proud;

Even if you said I wasn’t that well endowed.

That’s not true, but I am Michael Gove.

I am Michael Gove.

It was my idea to privatise the Royal Mail,

To get a future column in the Daily Mail.

Cameron, Clegg, Hague, Osborne,

All have the charisma of a still born.

But not me, as I am Michael Gove.

I am Michael Gove.

Now, just imagine if I was in charge,

The poor would face another surcharge.

You have no idea how hard I strove

To reach my dream: be like Karl Rove.

But by jove, I am still Michael Gove.